Lara Croft And Master Chief Go On A Date

Lara Croft: Chief! It’s been forever.
Master Chief: I haven’t seen you since that cross console mixer a few years ago.
Lara takes off her coat.
Master Chief: Wow. Uh…
Lara Croft: What?
Master Chief: You…You look a little different than the last time I saw you.
Lara Croft: Oh, I was having back problems. I had breast reduction surgery.
Master Chief: Ah.
Lara Croft: It was pretty ridiculous running around raiding tombs with those things!
Master Chief: Haha, yeah. Who would want gigantic breasts? Beautiful…gigantic…breasts.
Lara Croft: …Chief?
Master Chief: Sorry. So, what’ve you been up to?
Lara Croft: Well, I haven’t made a game in a while so I’ve been trying to keep bus-
Master Chief is staring off into space.
Lara Croft: Are you listening?
Master Chief: …Yeah. I was just thinking about how we’ve grown apart.
Lara Croft: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Master Chief: It would probably be breast if we just went our seperate ways. Best, I mean.
Lara Croft: You futuristic space heroes are all the same. 
Master Chief: Listen, this has nothing to do with you deflating your epic rack.
Lara Croft: Then what is it about?
Master Chief: Uh…
Lara taps her foot impatiently.
Master Chief: It’s just…they were so…
Lara Croft: Have a nice life, Chief.
Lara starts walking away.
Master Chief: Thanks for the mammaries.

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